Free Christian PowerPoint Templates and Backgrounds and Daily Bread --In His Holy Presence/Pardain Design

My story:

I thought I was a Christian for the first 29 years of my life (testified as a kid that Jesus Christ is God, was a leader at church for preteens, prayed every day, preached the gospel when ever anybody wanted to hear: Jesus Christ is the Son of God, crucified for our sins, risen on the third day by the power of Holy Spirit, lived a God blessed happy Christian life as I thought it to be) until I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit at the age of 29 (Supernatural experience when the Holy Spirit came in me with incredible Power, also my internal life was out of balance for a while, and no, I did not speak in tongues!!!, did not jump up and down with joy, but rather received deep sorrow (knowledge of what sin really is --not sins but SIN), and suffering that later changed into Joy of God regardless of circumstances, feelings or situations powered by deep humility inside), received a personal revelation of Jesus Christ (Who He really is and how HOLY.), received the forgiveness of sins (what a huge load was lifted off me!!!! I felt like an eagle flying in the sky), became taught by the Holy Spirit (the WORD became alive to me--they don't need anybody to teach them, because the Spirit teaches them (1 John 27)--I really felt I had entered the highest University there is and the teacher was God Himself!!!!!--The Bible beacame completely a new Book to me!!!) and I fell completely in love with Jesus Christ ( He is my All and All. Alpha and Omega.). I knew I had become a disciple of Jesus Christ and was born again to His Kingdom. And I only have one goal in my life and that is to please God and do His Will. I live because of Him and for Him only. The difference is that before the baptism I knew the Scriptures by my own understanding, it was learned, I followed Jesus Christ in my own understanding, had never surrendered my will--my right to myself-- to Him. I had never confronted myself with the reality of sin in me. But then one point of time in my life (about 1 year before the baptism) I started feeling that Christianity was a fraud--maybe too strong word--but..--well, I knew that Christ was God and that He was my heavenly Father-- but I did not feel I had what God meant for people. I felt uneasiness. This can't be all, there must be more... I had asked so many times forgiveness for my sins but I continued to see duplicity in me and yet the Bible says a Christian does not sin. I also felt that I did not know God intimately. I wanted to know Him intimately. If He was my Father in heaven I should know Him as well as I know my mother or father on earth or even closer, but I felt I did not really know Him. I felt His presence, I knew the Scriptures, but He was not IN me. My faith had not produced the kind of obedience God wanted--Faith without action is dead (until I started really seeking Him ) (only he who does the will of my Father will enter he Kingdom of heaven-Matt 7:21), --'seek Me with ALL YOUR HEART--with all your effort--and you will find Me' or 'Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door (to Kingdom of God) will be opened to you...(Luke 11)'. I thought myself to be a believer, and a good one, I was confortable, so seeking Him did not cross my mind before. The sin in me had deceived me to believe I was a Christian. I also knew nothing about Holy Spirit Power. Little did I understand what it all meant that time. I was just willing... and I wanted everything that God had in plans for me.. And I started seeking and knocking... Just before the baptism I became very desperate and was ready to bury my old life for ever and do what ever God would ask me. I had come to my end. I was fixing my eyes and thoughts on Him and only on Him. I wanted to see Him. It was so shocking to see how my thoughts were wandering, and weren't fixed on Jesus Christ all the time , but I put all my effort to FIX my thoughts and eyes on Jesus Christ and only on Him. I did not care whether I slept or not, I was just so concerned about my relationship to Jesus Christ. I felt there were so many thoughts and things between me and Him--just like a crowd of 5000 people around Him and between me and Him and I needed to get through them in order to see Jesus Christ. I had never felt this before. The closer I became to Jesus Christ, the less I knew how to pray and more I felt the "crowd" between me and Jesus Christ. "Seek Me with ALL your effort and heart and also knock and I will open" were in my thoughts as I went through " the crowd" or "as I was knocking at a closed door". I was pushing and pushing the thoughts and things away before me as I was getting closer and closer to Jesus Christ. I was ready to be sacrificed, even though at that time I did not understand what it meant. I had always seen Him as my Heavenly Father who blessed me. I prayed and He blessed, but I never had given anything back to Him. The only thing I could give was myself. Everything else He had given me as a gift. This was the realty in my life and what I felt with great humility and feeling absolute worthlessness when I finally stood before Him: "Only towardsYou have I sinned, done what is bad inYour eyes." "Have mercy on me. " I had lived my life thinking it was through Him, but it was for me, not for Him. That was the day when my life changed completely. I did not really understand that baptism (not just one time, but continuous -sanctification/circumcision of heart) meant that He would fill me with His own Spirit, Holy Spirit, and that He would put me through burning fire.....clouds. That's what it means to become a living sacrifice for Him. Everything in me that was not of Him or towards Him would have to be burned in the fire and thrown away--nothing to do whether these things looked good or not or were moral things--everything had to be sanctified for the Glory of Lord, for HIM--anything that would prevent me seeing Him and obeying Him in everything... and that He would take complete control of my life...that my life would be put into His plans..not my plans, but His... and He would teach me humility, submission, and patience, suffering and pain. My natural needed to become spiritual for His sake. Exactly what it says in the Bible---whoever loses his life for my sake... To know Jesus Christ intimately is beyond words. It costs everything, yet one gains everything. The relationship is so Sacred and Holy. He asks for everything. He wants that in one's world there is only Him, and only Him, no one else. He says: "give me to drink", and one cannot give Him a drink unless one has become a spring of living water. One cannot please Him until one gives up his/her right to him/herself to Him. The road to Him is first to receive the living water from Him, and then through obedience to Him, not obedience to a religion, but to HIM, one can become a spring of living water and give a drink to the Lord. This is what pleases Him. It is such an intimate relationship. I was dead, and now I am alive. And I take part in Christ's sufferings. I only live to bring glory to Him. There is absolutely nothing I desire in this life, but to please Him and bring honor to His precious Name. Everything else has no meaning and is work in vain. I belong to Him and only to Him.

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In His Holy Presence
My name is Kitte.

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